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Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain, by Portia de Rossi
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In this searing, unflinchingly honest New York Times bestseller, actress Portia de Rossi shares the truth of her long battle to overcome anorexia and bulimia while living in the public eye, and details the new happiness and health she has found in recent years—including her coming out and her marriage to Ellen DeGeneres.
Now in paperback, the New York Times bestselling memoir from Portia de Rossi explores the truth of her long battle to overcome anorexia and bulimia—“an unusually fresh and engrossing memoir of both Hollywood and modern womanhood” ( Los Angeles Times, 5 stars).
In this groundbreaking memoir, Portia de Rossi reveals the pain and illness that haunted her for decades, from the time she was a twelve-year-old girl working as a model in Australia, through her early rise to fame as a cast member of the hit television show Ally McBeal. All the while terrified that the truth of her sexuality would be exposed in the tabloids, Portia alternately starved herself and binged, putting her life in danger and concealing from herself and everyone around her the seriousness of her illness.
She describes the elaborate rituals around food that came to dominate hours of every day and explores the pivotal moments of her childhood that set her on the road to illness. She reveals the heartache and fear that accompany a life lived in the closet, a sense of isolation that was only magnified by her unrelenting desire to be ever thinner, ever more in control of her body and the number of calories she consumed and spent.
From her lowest point, Portia began the painful climb back to a life of health and honesty, falling in love and marrying Ellen DeGeneres and emerging as an outspoken and articulate advocate for gay rights and women’s health issues. In this remarkable and landmark book, she has given the world a story that inspires hope and nourishes the spirit.
- Sales Rank: #38792 in Books
- Published on: 2011-07-05
- Released on: 2011-07-05
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.44" h x .90" w x 5.50" l, .65 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 320 pages
From Publishers Weekly
De Rossi, star of such television shows as Ally McBeal and Arrested Development, reads her memoir of life in the spotlight and closet, her struggles to conceal her homosexuality and eating disorder, coping with burgeoning fame, and meeting-and marrying-Ellen DeGeneres. Her voice is girlish, slightly nasal, and clarion; she takes us through her darkest moments with astonishing frankness, allowing shame and vulnerability to creep into her voice. She seems to be confessing rather than merely reading. It's a deeply affecting performance-save for some hammy vocal characterizations. An Atria hardcover. (Nov.)
(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.
From Booklist
“Anorexia was my first love,” de Rossi declares in her memoir of her early Hollywood career and the eating disorders that went along with it. Her unflinching self-portrait depicts a cripplingly self-conscious young Australian in LA overwhelmed by the pressure to be thin. Never comfortable in her own skin, a by-product of her status as a closeted lesbian, de Rossi was sure if she ever gained weight (or came out as being gay), the shooting star she’d been cultivating would turn to lead. Weight loss was the key that allowed de Rossi to feel powerful and in control, until dieting became a sickness that nearly killed her and devastated her family. De Rossi’s story and words are not revolutionary, but they are frank, brave, and revelatory of the unhealthy trends that stardom can generate. Although more development of de Rossi’s happy ending (her eventual complete recovery, self-acceptance, coming-out, and marriage to Ellen DeGeneres) would be welcome, the book succeeds as it’s intended: a journal of her sickness and a provocatively sad love affair with dieting. --Annie Bostrom
Review
“Written with artistry, compelling insight and lucid frankness, [Unbearable Lightness] offers solid hope and inducement to initiate the odyssey toward self-knowledge and acceptance.”
—The New York Times
“A stark, well-written portrait of how De Rossi lost control of her life as she became consumed by her struggle for perfection and acceptance.”
—Washington Post
“In prose as simply elegant—and as powerful—as a little black dress, De Rossi weaves together three themes—the impact of a loving, but lonely girlhood as the child of a single mother, the corrosive effect of constant doubts about her appearance and the internal struggle over her sexuality.”
—Los Angeles Times (5 star review)
“De Rossi’s attention to detail is hypnotic.”
—USA Today
“The blunt, pity-free matter-of-factness with which de Rossi shares secrets and lies about her eating disorders and her sexuality makes this forthright confessional story at once shocking and instructional, especially for younger women who may be secretly suffering on their own.”
—Entertainment Weekly
“De Rossi artfully draws the reader into the tension of a life lived in secrecy...her story is a cautionary tale, an inspiration, and a triumph.”
—Publishers Weekly
“An unflinching self-portrait...frank, brave, and revelatory.”
—Booklist
“Breathtakingly honest, brutal and beautiful.”
—Jonathan Safran Foer
“De Rossi tells her story with genuine insight and unflinching honesty. You will cheer her on.”
—Jeannette Walls
“De Rossi’s memoir reminds us that fame and celebrity are no substitute for feeling comfortable in one’s own skin.”
—Jodi Picoult
“Quite possibly the best book on the subject ever written…. It will serve as life-changing inspiration for many.”
—Augusten Burroughs
Most helpful customer reviews
171 of 191 people found the following review helpful.
honest and moving
By Amazon Customer
As the previous reviewer has pretty much summarised the entire book (!) I'll just say that this is an honest, moving and well written account of a dark time in Portia's life. It was hard to read how she brought herself close to death, keeping herself on a tiny allowance of calories and strenuous exercise (in high heels at times). I know Hollywood expects women to be thin, but I was saddened to read her accounts of costume fittings - where she was humiliated for being anything other than 'stick thin'.
I loved the story about meeting Ellen in 2001 at a concert, when Ellen invited her over to her house along with other guests. Portia thought she was just being polite, but it turned out that Ellen had only invited the other people over so she would have the excuse of a party to invite Portia. So Ellen was stuck with having to entertain all those people that night!
I think coming out as a lesbian in Hollywood is still a risky move (how many others are there? not many) and Portia is an inspiration to other women who are coming to terms with their sexuality and trying to live their life honestly. Well done Portia, from a fellow Aussie :)
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Intense inside look; a lasting impact
By alicn26
Page turner but narrower scope than I expected. Inside look at eating disorders, not much focus on author other than that...very interesting though and well done
Update:
Weeks later, I'm upgrading my review from 4 stars to 5 stars because the message of the book lingered in my mind for weeks after I read it... ultimately leading me to reevaluate the way I see my own body and how I arbitrarily forced myself to maintain a size 2-4 at 5'6", without considering the toll on my energy, strength, and overall health and vitality. While the book wasn't the read I was expecting, its impact on me was far greater than I expected. I've stopped being so strict with myself about what I eat or how much I exercise and I've started seeing myself as a strong, healthy, attractive woman rather than trying to compete with teenagers' still-growing bodies. I'm happier, more confident, less anxious, and more energetic... I even think better in problem solving situations and experience less depression. I'm currently a size 6 and think I look just as good, if not better than I did as a smaller size.
88 of 99 people found the following review helpful.
Well written, just not a recovery book at all
By Music Moves Me
Portia is an amzing writer. Her tale is gripping, captivating, and horrifying at the same time. This book reads like a page-turner and most readers will really enjoy the journey that she takes you on.
I also think it is a timely and true tale of how the influences of the media, Hollywood and the "thin-ideal" have come to dominate the way women feel about their bodies, that we are never "good enough" the way we are, and that we should always be comparing ourselves to others. In that way, I think that almost every woman will be able to relate to her story, eating disorder or not. But if you have ever had an eating disorder, you will recognize the triggers she writes about, and her story's darkness will be very familiar.
For those who are looking for help in these pages for their own eating disorder, what I will say is that this is NOT a book that really encourages recovery, I mean it is obviously an encouragement to live a healthy life, but you won't find helpful recovery advice or direction here - just so you know. As another review states, recovery is almost an afterthought in this book. So, be careful if yoou are sensitive to books that trigger. I am not discouraging buying the book, but I just think it makes a helpful review to know what you are and what you are not getting. As someone who has "intimate knowledge" of living with anorexia and bulimia, I will say that this is like looking in the mirror. Family memebers who don't understand the pain may also find it enlightening.
If you are looking for books to take you to the next step and point you toward recovery, or if you have a family member with anorexia or bulimia symptoms but is still very thin, I HIGHLY recommend to book "100 Questions and Answers about Anorexia Nervosa" by Dr. Sari Fine Shepphird. It is the best, most helpful book I have in my collection and I have been reading books about eating disorders for 15 years. If you want to know more about eating disorders like anorexia, it's so helpful. I also want to recommend "Crave: Why you binge and how to stop" by Dr. Cynthia Bulik, if you are looking for a book specifically about Binge Eating, on the opposite end of eating disorders.
Thank you, Portia, for your honesty. People need to see how this disorder ravages lives but that there is also life after an eating disorder.
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